Trying
4:56 p.m. - Sunday, Jan. 21, 2007

Ok I have been trying really hard not to write this blog. I have a ton of work to do but I just can't seem to focus. Maybe it will help me once I get this out....

HIM has gone crazy again. Now I don't know if he has had a full relapse or if it's just a little one but I do know that something is not right about that boy. I took my son to a birthday party that he happen to be at Saturday. Now he did say that he wanted to be informed of the time that I would be coming so that he wouldn't be there. So you know what I did I called him when I was on my way so that he would know but guess what ... That's right the phone wasn't working. So we went to the party, he wasn't there and I helped them set up. He arrived and nothing went wrong we played cards laughed and joked everything was fine. Afterwards I asked him to walk little man and me to the train which he did. (Now I only asked him to walk me to the train because I didn't know how to get there from where we was and I told him that.) We left and that was it. NOT!!!!

He calls me talking about how he needs to be there for little man and other nonsense and I'm like didn't nothing change me still aren't talking and have no connection. Well that sets him off he starts talking about how he is solo's dad and he is going to be there for him. Whatever! So I basically tell him that when solo gets grown he can do whatever he wants but until then I run this. He texts me for three days straight all day long until I stopped responding to them. Then he calls my mom and has her on the phone for 1 hour and a half. She comes upstairs talking about how off he is and how I shouldn't be involved with him or his family. You would think it would end there but oh, no he's not finished yet! He calls my phone to tell me how he hates me and he doesn't want anything to do with solo and me. Then you know how everything is now my fault and I have hurt him so bad.

I did think about not going to the party but I missed his family and I thought it would be good for solo to see his friend. I also thought that he would be ok because it has been so long since we have had so much time apart but I guess that is just thinking too much. I always end up giving him too much credit.

Now I am a little worried about what he will do. I mean he has already stalked me climbing up to the second floor window and popping up at my house. I don't think that I can take much more of his antics. I am thinking about getting an order of protection against him. Then I don't know because that might make him even madder.

In other news...
My group in coming on nicely. We have good plans in place and we are acting on them. We are planning an Urban Teen Summit in July and we are getting our business in order to become a real business. Then soon after a non-profit. I am so proud of the women in the group they are making big steps to advancing themselves and for others around them.

As far as school goes, I am slipping a little bit. I got two B's but I am determined to bring it back up. I will get into a great externship program and get a good paying job afterwards. If anyone of you knows of any place where I can do my externship please let me know.

In more news...

Looks like I might get a love life after all. The person that I have been waiting for might be ready soon for me. I know that sounds weird but he knows what I am talking about. I also sent out an e-mail to this woman who I found very sexy and I have never done anything like that before so it all good you guys maybe 07 is my year.

Now I have got to go eat and do homework thanks for listening.

Cookie

PS. Go Bears!

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