a poem an me rambling
9:51 a.m. - Saturday, May. 28, 2005

I thought that I would giv you all a gift today so I'm going to start with a poem I wrote.

Train of Thought

I see the picture. The perfect hues, shadows and light.
Or a clearing or meadow covered with grass at night
And a big big oak that has an enormous swing that faces the moon
I swing real easy almost like a glide
And it feels as though if I let go I will go flying through the sky
I can see the picture but I can�t paint it.
The images that run through my head are vivid
I hear music I can�t play
see dances that I can�t perform
There are mathematical equations and illogical situations
That stimulate the stimulus that is my mind
The neutron packed highway that over crowds my nerves
Is overridden with thought and ideas that I can no longer control
And the accelerated speed of my mind slows down the action of my body
My attention spand dismissed as my pace lessens
My psyche is at rest yet I am moving at lighting speed past new worlds and universes to places never seen with the naked eye.
Formulas to cure the world disease feed the hungry, house the homeless, teach the ignorant, change the hopeless and pray for the unsaved.
There is so much I become overwhelmed with all of the messages shooting at me at one time
They are coming so fast
That I can�t see
I can�t breathe
I can�t...

-Cookie

Ok I am just really fucking tried of being sick you know! Well maybe not it's like every freaking time I have something to do go through hell trying to get everything together to go then I get sick and can't do shit. Oooo it makes me so mad! I mean how am I going to be famous? They are going to ask me to be somewhere and I am never going to be able to make it.
I was suppose to see my people go on prom yesterday and go to my meeting at church but first I had to go to the doctor. When I got there of course they had to do something else that was going to put me out of commission right after I just got back in. Put in that damn IUD and I could barely get home let alone anywhere else. I wasn't even able to pick up little man. God him whole life is going to be filled with my mom can't play right now she's sick. The other day I couldn't go to sleep so I ending up falling out at like 5 in the am. So of course I couldn't get up early that morning. He was answering the phone " Hello my mommy can't come to the phone right now she's not feeling good." That was just the sweetest thing but he shouldn't have to do that. He shouldn't even be worried about that you know.

I have starting to work on my empowerment group writing up guidelines and such. It's coming alone very nicely. I am proud of it now if can get some other people as well as myself involved then it would be great. I know it's going to turn out just fine, hopefully.

You know I can not be happier than I am when I have music sitting at my computer and writing. It's like everything is right with the world. Music and words it's like my air. I can't live with out it. If I lose my eye sight in my other eye I guess don't know what I would do.

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