Drama drama drama
2:28 a.m. - Monday, May. 31, 2004

Drama drama drama.......

Why in the hell am I in this boat. He has been talking to me and of course since he had fucked me up the ass with no lube I wasn't beliving him. Well then I started to think over what he said and I talked to his mom about somethings and I really felt that he was being sincer. I told him that he could come back and we could work on it but my trust for him was tatered.

Why can't I hold out on things. Why didn't I know that as soon as I started to open back up a little bit I was going to get fucked again. Why do I find out today that he has little online girlfriends that he has been telling bull shit about me. I mean one of them even had the nerve to say that he told her that he didn't want me any more. Oh I was every fat as bith and hoe in the book.

And here he goes lieing the whole while talking about "I know that girl through my friend." The girl didn't know who the hell his friend was. When I ask how they know these things he says that he said that the other day. Oh really! So this is how you really feel like I am a fat bitch and you don't want to be with me anymore. Yea... ok... right. Then he gets mad and takes over the typing talking about why am I all in his stuff he does get all up in mine. Well mr. I don't have online boyfriends and you read my diary every time I write in it. If you wasn't playing games then you wouldn't hav eto worry about me all up in your stuff.

I just can't beleive that he lied so quick to my face like that after he told me that I need to trust him. I mean what was the point. I just don't know what the fuck to do?

Maybe you all can help?

I have been so stressed out my tummy and head are hurting all the time. And my arm and leg have been going numb for two weeks. I know I need to calm down but everytime I try boom there goes something esle. It's like I can't get a minute to myself. Everyone needs help and I seem to be the only person that can help them. Sometimes I think that I am too nice and people take advantage of me.(and I am not talking about him) I don't want to get to the point of snaping off but soon it is going to get there.

I know one thing you all need to pray for me because I am at the point right now where I am going to either kill him or myself.

I am lying I can not touch a hair on that boy's head but you know what they say, "it's a thin line between love and hate."

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